March 2004

You needed more, and I let you fall.
Posted by: Scott at 4:11 AM | Comments: 3
Yesterday was so incredibly boring. I fell asleep early, around 1, after taking my pill, woke up at 6, stayed up till around 8ish and went back to sleep. My mom often yells at me for sleeping all day, but when I woke up at 11, she was sleeping herself.

I talked to Casey and Corey then. Me and Corey had an insanely funny conversation, though I don't remember any of it, I just remember I couldn't stop laughing. I also designed a new desktop wallpaper for myself, and in the past few days, also made one for Insder, Tim and Stacey.

My brother came home early yesterday cause he has bad sunburn so he was hurting. It was like 1 when he got home. More pointless hours in between. Around 7 I became tired again and got sick of fighting to stay awake, so I layed down on the floor, despite it being really uncomfortable, and ended up falling asleep till 8 or 9. I woke up and stayed up for awhile -- till 11.. no one was really on at the time, and Stacey didn't come on last night, which sucked, since I really look forward to talking to her. Yeah, I'm really pathetic. Nothing you didn't already know.

Anyway, I went back to sleep at 11 and woke up at 3:30, went to eat, though I think I ate too much, because my stomach was hurting for awhile. I had 2 mini cheeseburgers, a honey bun and a bunch of chips. I continued to watch Animal Planet until six, then I changed over to Mama's Family, which I'm currently watching.

Now my mom is making me dry the dishes, so I must end this entry.

Updated
Posted by: Scott at 1:07 PM | Comments: 2
New Login and Desktop screenshots added today.

All we can do for now is hope
Posted by: Scott at 3:14 PM | Comments: 1
Since I didn't think I'd be allowed to go, I never thought to ask for directions sooner. Her old phone numbers don't seem to work, she isn't on Yahoo and no one I know that might know her new number is on, so from the looks of it, I won't be going. Major disappointment.

My mom kept asking me where I was going and I said I doubt I'm going now and she said in a really cheerful, crappy voice "Oh, okay." and I let it go at first, but I knew what it meant.. then I'm like why do you say that? She's like I'm alone without you and I'm like you have dad and she's like no I don't and I'm like I'm here with you all the time and she's like your never here with me so I was like so then I guess it won't matter if I'm here or not then, will it? That shut her up.

I don't know if we'll make it home
Posted by: Scott at 1:28 PM | No Comments
So I was talking to Stacey this morning, around 5ish, and she wanted me to come over today. Of course I wanted to, but I figured my parents, more specific -- my mom, would say no anyway, so I decided to ask my dad about it. He came back a few minutes later, he's like how are you going to get there, I'm like my brother, I guess, so then he asks what time I'm going, I'm like I don't know yet. I guess that means I'm allowed to go, though. I'm both so excited and nervous at the same time. It's great.

A few minutes ago, Abby came in here and I heard someone come in from outside. I figured it was my mom, but Abby wouldn't move, so I'm like "Go, go!" so she wouldn't get in trouble then my mom comes in she's like "What are you doing in here?"

You're not making this easy
Posted by: Scott at 3:09 AM | Comments: 4
My mouse is some micro innovations wireless mouse. It sounds nice, right? It would be if I didn't have to replace the batteries so much. I find myself replacing the batteries once every two weeks, which is an incredible pain. I originally went into the kitchen to look for batteries, but ended up taking my pill and getting a drink instead. Then I spotted the microwave flashing end, and knew it only does that when something is in there, so I open it up and find my mom's heating thing.. you place it on your back or wherever you hurt. She must have put it in and forgotten to take it out. So I heated it up for her and came back in here. Upon coming back in here, I realize I forgot what I went for: Batteries. So I go in the kitchen and end up deciding to try other mouses, as I'm sick of the other one.

I come in the living room, open the cupboard and have to search through all kinds of weird wires to objects we probably don't even have anymore. At the very bottom of everything, I find two: the old Microsoft Intellimouse I had, and some generic mouse with balls that came with the E-Machine. I spend the next ten minutes trying to get enough light behind the computer to see to hook it up. Great, the red light turns on, we have a winner. Or do we? It moves around, works like old times. Oh, how I missed thee. Suddenly it quits working. Which reminds me why I originally quit using it: It'll work for about five seconds, then stop, then start again. Boo. So I now have to unplug it. I am now left to choose between crappy mouse 1 and crappy mouse 2. Which one is which, you ask? Does it really matter? Anyway, I decide to take both mice back and just get batteries. So now I'm back on the floor plugging it in again.

All that time wasted when I could have just gotten batteries. Now I'm hot from so much movement. That was my workout for the month. I'm also hungry. A food hunt is inevitable. I think I'm going to ask for a new mouse for my birthday/Easter and the Family Guy season 1/2 DVD.

We seek security in one another, but there's no way to cover this
Posted by: Scott at 2:18 AM | Comments: 3
I went to sleep around 5 yesterday, woke up at 6, came on here yet again, then went to take a shower, came back on here for a few minutes, talked to Corey, then began to get ready. My hair looked like hell today. We got there around 10:40 or so. I was so anxious in the waiting room. I just wanted to get up and walk around, but I just sat there. There wasn't even that many people there.

I forget what time it was when I got called. I talked with the nurse for awhile, she always says shes going to have me go out with her daughter to get me out more, which I find funny, because my mom will just laugh. Would she actually let me go out with a complete stranger, yet not with my friends? That would be incredibly sad. Anyway, the doctor said I could up my doseage to 3 times a day. She told me to get an EKG done just to be safe, well, when I'm nervous, I can't sit still, so here I am, topless, laying back on some chair with tape and weird wires all over my chest and legs. She kept trying to get a good reading, because it wasn't reading it right, so then the doctor comes in and says the first one that printed out was fine anyway (she started to do a second one, too.)

So then I get dressed, smoked a cigarette and hoped that it was as good for her as it was for me. Okay, so the last two parts didn't happen, but I can dream! My next appointment is April 23. Thirteen days after my birthday! By the time we got out of there, it was 12:30.

First we went to the mall. Value City then FYE. FYE is the only good store in the mall. I went in there and looked around for awhile. I was looking for the Onesidezero CD, but they were sold out. Mine is all weird, the MP3s skip alot and the CD I burned is so incredibly scratched. I ended up getting the Matchbook Romance CD instead. It was the last one left. Then for some reason, my mom wanted to look at the DVDs, and we eventually stumbled on the porn section, to which I screamed out "Porn!" and quickly pointed out the women of Wal-Mart CD. She was like I could get that for your dad! Wrong? Incredibly.

We proceeded to go up the mall after that traumatic moment. More pointless stores up the mall. While passing Radioshack, I couldn't help laughing.. my friend told me a story how he went in there once, and all the monitors had Goatse on them, so he went to tell the guy that worked there and he went to look and screamed out "OH MY GOD!" Quite amusing. Ah yes, and if you don't know what Goatse is, please don't look it up, as it is quite sick, I've had the displeasure of viewing it far too many times.. though the general "whoamg, sick!" effect of it has worn off.. and now that I've actually mentioned Goatse in my journal, hell has just frozen over.

We went in the dollar store then.. followed my Wal-Mart. I don't remember what, if anything I got there. K-Mart was next. I got a bunch of food; Hot Pockets.. four cheese pizza, chicken melt and meatball. I got other food, too, though I can't remember what. While checking out, the cashier was talking to me, she couldn't believe how old I'd gotten, since I was around 8 when it opened. (Super K-Mart) It was four-ish when we got out of K-Mart. We went to Burger King afterwards. I got a whopper, small fry and chicken nuggets. Ate the whopper and fries and saved the chicken nuggets for later.

Five thirty, I went to sleep, as I was extremely tired. Slept till eight, could barely wake myself up to watch Tru Calling, though I'm glad I did, it was good. I stayed up to ten to watch what I thought was a new ER, but it was a repeat. So I went back to sleep. I slept till 3:30, came back over here, now I'm typing this. The day has come full circle.

Whoo
Posted by: Scott at 9:27 PM | Comments: 1
I just got done installing Starcraft/Brood War and Diablo 2/LOD again. Diablo 2 seems to have really updated alot with the 1.10 patch. I haven't played it since last year. The surprising thing, though, is my accounts/characters are all still active. Both on Starcraft and Diablo. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Boo.

Stacey used the icon I fixed up for her on her LiveJournal. This makes me happy for reasons unknown.

I had pizza for dinner today, it was yum, but my brother was kicking me because I wouldn't throw the pizza box away for him, so Abby comes running in and stands between me and him so he can't kick me, so then he kept hitting me with the box and she kept growling and barking at him. She's such a good dog.

Edit: Updated the links; Added a bunch.
Also updated the CD list and Playlist.

Hmm.. what did I do today?
Posted by: Scott at 1:02 AM | Comments: 2
This morning I was attempting to update the SOCOM clan page, but it wouldn't let me connect to the server right away. I spent an hour trying. It was around 10 AM by the time I connected. I got a few people updated, but then I began to feel weird, lightheaded, I guess. So I layed down and went to sleep on the floor. I was woken up by my bastard brother around 7, who was laying on top of me saying something to me over and over, though I can't remember what, I just remember it annoyed the hell out of me. So I woke up, came over here and checked to see if anyone actually left me anything worth waking up to, and as always, they didn't.

I uploaded some of the images I've made recently to Geocities today. I'm not quite sure why. I was rather bored at the time. I might make a design portfolio type site with all of my designs soon, I don't know. I tend to hate most of my work upon looking back at it. There's always so many more people who are so much better than me at it, it always makes me feel inferior. Though I know there will always be people better than me at something, I'm surrounded by tons of people better than me at everything anyway.

I was so bored today, I took Stacey's LiveJournal icon, sharpened it so it's not as blurry, resized it so it's bigger and put a border around it. No clue if she'll even use it, but it entertained me for three minutes, I suppose. I also updated my desktop picture on the site here, and if you didn't notice, changed the font on the banner above. I was also sick of the old font, too, but when I lost my bookmarks, I lost the font sites that were with them, so I had nowhere to go to get new fonts, but luckily, I got them back.

At least I have Starcraft to look forward to sometime this week. I plan on playing it with one of my friends.. and if I ever get around to installing the game Corey wants me to, I'll play that, too. Of course, I still have to download that first.

New logo
Posted by: Scott at 3:57 AM | Comments: 6
I was really getting sick of the old one and I loved the way this one turned out. New logo for the comments page, too.

Wallpapers
Posted by: Scott at 11:30 PM | No Comments
I've been designing alot of wallpapers the last few days. I designed one for Casey yesterday and today, it has a skull on it, with a tear below it's eye, a grayish background and Yellowcard's View From Heaven lyrics faded in the background, it came out good.

So then once our friend seen that, she wanted me to design her one, too, with different actors/musicians on it. I really like how the background came out on it.
It's blue, and it looks sort of like a wave, plus I added in the patchwork filter, which adds in little squares, which I also like, for some reason. I designed this other banner the yesterday, too. It's green/black with like a wind filter and other random effects.

One of these days I'll get around to uploading them so everyone can see and you'll actually understand what all of this rambling is about.

Promise me you'll never let me go
Posted by: Scott at 3:08 AM | Comments: 4
Every now and then I always wonder how friends I haven't talked to in awhile are doing. Friends from elementary. It's hard to believe how close I was with all of them and how I never talk to them now. Plus it doesn't help that I have pictures of them all around my desk, so it's a constant reminder of the past, and what used to be, and how much everyone has grown up over the past four or so years. Casey is like the only friend from elementary who still talks to me on a regular basis. I guess that's why I talk about her so much, I appreciate her still being a friend and all, and a best friend at that. I know it's a part of growing up; Moving on and growing apart, I mean, but it still doesn't make it any easier for me. Part of me wonders if they ever think/wonder about me, part of me is like "why worry, they never call or IM you anyway, so what's it matter?" I don't know, I have mixed feelings on the whole situation.

I shouldn't worry about it, it's not like I can change any of it now anyway, though just saying I shouldn't doesn't mean I don't.

Give me something worth living for
Posted by: Scott at 8:33 AM | Comments: 2
Casey sent me three Matchbook Romance songs today. I'm almost positive I had the album before, though I can't find it anymore on mIRC. Anyway, I'm so addicted to them, I can't stop listening. They're just so good. I actually remembered to watch both Tru Calling and ER last night. Though ER was a repeat, Tru Calling was new and will be next week, too, as will ER, though I don't care for this new season of ER much, sad to say.

My mom's getting a new roof on above the porch, or wherever, and so everytime they start pounding, Abby starts barking. It's been going on since around 8:30, it's becoming annoying, she's calmed down a bit, though.

Today's Friday.. for some reason I always look forward to Fridays. I'm not really sure why. I guess because most of the people who work and go to school during the week are online more to talk to during the night, which I always appreciate.

I got all that sticky tape off my keyboard holder yesterday. Also cleaned out my keyboard, updated my winamp playlist, too, though it really has nothing to do with the previously mentioned items. I just tend to ramble off on to many different subjects. I'm in a weird mood now.. not bad, or anything, just weird.. not really sure how to explain it.

Don't know if I mentioned this before or not, but I have a doctor's appointment on the 25th. Yet another checkup. It's hard to believe how fast April is approaching. I'll be 19 before you know it. I hope to do something relatively fun this year, as opposed to the many previous years of let down, and tedius actions. My family hasn't really done anything for my birthday since I was 11 or 12, though I can't really say it bothers me all that much now, since I tend to avoid all social contact with them as much as possible, but hanging out with friends is always a nice morale booster.

I was going to go to sleep, but I saw it nearing ten, so I decided to just stay up and watch ER. I'll regret it later, I'm sure, but at the moment, I'm wide awake. While talking to Casey, I was becoming quite tired (this was around 7/8) and suddenly I got a second wind somewhere between then and now.

I never did get that Black & White game working. I can't remember if I even mentioned that I bought it or not. My memory is becoming really bad. I guess the less I use it, the less it works. Anyway, to clue you in, or re-update you, it came with the expansion, too, for only $9.99. Good deal. Shame it won't work, though. I don't know what else to try with it, as I'm tried the program compatibility feature and everything.

Yesterday I downloaded the new AIM & DeadAIM, the new features are pretty nice, such as setting an idle time now, and the ability to change buddy icons, though they do suck, but it's still cool.

Recently PwC (My SOCOM clan) did a 'spring cleaning' of the roster, so to speak. Users who were never online or sucked at playing were booted out of the clan. I'm one of three (original) people left in my roster. (There's other guys in it, but they already have a name in the main clan anyway. It has two rosters; A main one, and the second one, which I'm in.) It's pretty sad to see such an empty roster, though some guys from the second roster were also moved over to the first (Main) roster. I'd probably be long gone, too, if I didn't design the website and was Poge's brother, as I fit into both categories in which they kicked out other people for: I suck extremely bad and I rarely play. My kill/death ratio is horrible. (Link)

I was talking to Corey a few minutes ago and he signed off.. he was in school, so I guess his teacher came around or something of the sort.

Sometimes I still see myself in that lonesome bedroom
Posted by: Scott at 3:55 AM | Comments: 1
Yesterday I switched from Mozilla to Mozilla Firefox. I lost my bookmarks, though, from my own foolish mistake. I backed up the bookmarks, but apparently, I backed it up wrong or something, and already uninstalled Mozilla, so I was stuck using an old set of bookmarks and updating everything, which was a pain, but now I have everything back and figured out how to export the bookmarks from Mozilla to Internet Explorer, so then I backed them up to CD.

During the night (not tonight, the previous night), I got quite bored (as usual), so I decided to rip off tape that was on my keyboard holder. It wasn't really tape, it was something to make it all smooth and hold the black cloth that was originally on there on, but I also ripped that off, too. Upon ripping part of the tape off, though, the keyboard rest became quite sticky and my wrist kept sticking to it.. so I got the bright idea to take some paper, and place it over the sticky part and cut it out. Sad thing is, I can't cut good at all. The edges were all jagged and it looked horrible, so I rip the paper off, and parts of it come off, some parts stick, so I told my mom when she woke up, and she gave me some sticker remover thing which took off some of it, but most of the paper is still on there.

That was the most pointless and boring story ever.

Be my reminder here that I am not alone
Posted by: Scott at 7:17 PM | Comments: 2
Gah.. so boring. I was going to type something, but it's mostly a repeat of my last post anyway. My brother got his car. He actually got it Saturday. I just noticed today. How sad is that? I never look out the window.

I've been on AIM 8 Days, 20 Hours, 21 Minutes.
Suicide is my only option.

Is this a test? It has to be. Otherwise I can't go on.
Posted by: Scott at 3:31 AM | Comments: 4
Another uneventful day for yours truly. I don't remember doing much of anything. I think I slept till 4, woke up, came home here.. around 8, I ate.. 2 mini cheeseburgers and cookies.. chatted a bit online after that. Then watched bro play SOCOM around 10ish. Fell asleep on the floor around 11 or so, woke up at 12:30, chatted some more, then made a new desktop wallpaper. It's a blue design with Tool - The Patience lyrics, then I added in pics of Casey, which took me awhile to erase the backgrounds, but it paid off. I like it a lot. You can see the green version of it - minus Casey - in the 'About' section and then scroll down.

My mom was again on a war path today. This time yelling at my dad because he never does anything on his days off. They were supposed to go to town today, I'm not sure why they didn't. Anyway, my mom has a doctor's appointment today, so hopefully she'll be out of the house for most of the day. I sleep all day anyway, so I guess it doesn't really matter, but at least I won't be woken up every few minutes by her slamming doors and walking noisily around the house.

I haven't talked to Casey in awhile.. meh.. sucks. Haven't talked to Corey much lately, either. He's always on when I'm still sleeping.. and Stacey rarely answers my IMs. So I have to usually wait for my night time peeps to come out, though that's not usually till 11 PM or so at night. That means from the time I wake up, till then, I'm usually bored and without conversation, which can be good or bad, I guess, depending on my mood of the day/moment.

My brother says hes's finally getting his car next week. Let's all hope for the best.

I'll hang around with you, till you find someone better
Posted by: Scott at 4:50 AM | Comments: 3
I should update, but I don't know what to post. I should also go to bed, but I'm too lazy to get up off the chair.

Lemmings
Posted by: Scott at 12:04 AM | Comments: 2
A freight train to the right, feeling that sting of pride
It's fucking with me, it's fucking with you
All's fair in love and war until you say it isn't but you're wrong

Words on the back of flyers, my clothes are in the dryer
It means nothing, nothing is changing
La familia is dead and gone, the children grew up and moved on

Is it too much to ask for the things to work out this time?
I'm only asking for what is mine
I wanted everything, I got it and now I'm gonna
Throw it away, I'll throw it away, yeah

Prime select and a box of glazed, pulling flybys on days
When we were young and innocent
Elbow-drop Sundays when Mark Eaton got beat to shit

Laughing at the bands we hate, all the spots we used to skate
They're still there, but we've gone our own ways
I know it's for the best but sometimes I wonder
Will I ever have friends like you again?

Is it too much to ask for the things to work out this time?
I'm only asking for what is mine
I wanted everything, I got it and now I'm gonna
Throw it away, I'll throw it away, yeah

Is it too much to ask for the things to work out this time?
I'm only asking for what is mine
I wanted everything, I got it and now I'm gonna
Throw it away, I'll throw it away, yeah

You're gonna drown in the mess you make
Your self-inflicted hate
You turn your back on the friends you lose
When they don't follow all your rules

But people are what they wanna be
They're not lemmings to the sea
Maybe it's time you looked at yourself
And stop blaming life on someone else.

The Cruelest Dream, Reality
Posted by: Scott at 5:17 AM | Comments: 1
My mom came in here a few moments ago to look on the Sears website at some jewelry and I was switching users to go the 'Parents' name (I gave them their own name so they don't mess with my settings) and as I was switching over, it briefly showed my desktop, which is 9 pictures I edited together of Casey (Call it obsession if you must, I can't help it I like her so much!) Anyway, my mom was like "Who was that? Who was that? Show me that again." I didn't answer her, so she never mentioned it again. Regardless, it was funny. I've had it as my desktop for about a month or so now, too, and this is the first time she's noticed it. Of course, I've also done everything in my power to avoid her from seeing it, too, but we'll just ignore that.

Jay commited suicide, Brandon ODed and died; What the hell is going on?
Posted by: Scott at 4:38 AM | Comments: 1
I had a nice argument with my mom today (well, yesterday). We were both screaming at the top of our lungs the whole time. Anyways, she always yells that none of us ever take the dog out and she has to do it.. blah, blah, blah.. so my brother took her out, despite her just being out, but he brought her in and didn't wipe her feet, (god forbid any speck of dirt get on the floor or people will think we never clean the house! ..Yeah, no one ever comes here, in case you didn't get that nice bit of sarcasm) and she snuck in the living room and got caught (she sneaks in and out a lot of times without my mom catching her, it's quite funny) so she was screaming at her and Abby ran in here and looked at me, then she ran back out there and my mom hit her and I said don't hit her and she said I'll hit her when I want and I said why, because it makes you feel big and she's like shutup.. Well, she kept repeating herself over and over and I got sick of listening to her so I told her to shutup already and she's like you don't tell me what to do, who do you think you are, I told you not to talk to me (she was already pissed at me from previous days arguments) and I'm like yeah, and there you are talking to me, you stupid hypocrite.. so finally she shutup.

I don't know why this is all so entertaining to me. I guess I really am messed up.

Mark still lives at home, cause he's got no job, just plays guitar and smokes a lot of pot
Posted by: Scott at 4:28 AM | Comments: 1
I planned on going to bed four hours ago; Really I did. We see how well that worked. I went to eat and then I was going to go right after, since it was around 2:30 at that time, then I got a sudden burst of energy, most likely from the food, and decided to come back in here.

Now it's almost 6:30 and I'm pretty wide awake. I should know better than that not to eat late, because it tends to keep me up, but 1) I'm not the brightest person ever and 2) I was hungry. So, I guess I eat and pay the consiquences for it later. My own fault, as always.

Dairy Queen
Posted by: Scott at 9:23 PM | Comments: 4
My parents got me a chilli cheese dog and fries from Dairy Queen today. It was so good. It was funny, because I was just reading about how I ate chilli cheese dogs for Christmas (or New Years Eve.. one of those days) in the archive and she got a fudge ice cream cake thing, it has like bananas and strawberries on it, and I think marshmellows and the bottom of it is all fudge. So good.

Haha
Posted by: Scott at 11:31 AM | Comments: 3
"Ya know, I don't care what people think, Hillary Duff is not good looking at all. I heard some freshmen the other day talking about her and I wanted to tell them different, but alas, I decided to eat my cookies. That's it! You've been great! Goodnight everybody!" - Tim

Corey's taking over my journal!
Posted by: Scott at 6:42 PM | Comments: 3
Haha.. I'm so hungry. At least Rush Hour 2 is on. I was playing SOCOM last night and this one team was lagging so bad, it was terrible. We should have won, but because of the lag, we didn't. I woke up long enough to go back to sleep today, which is pretty sad. It was raining really hard here a few minutes ago.

Haha
Posted by: Scott at 3:39 PM | Comments: 1
My mom told me to get food for the dog, which I don't mind, since she's a good dog anyway, but then on the way up from getting it, I was zoned out, and my mom was by the doorway and scared me, and I ended up dropping her food all over the stairs so I spent the next ten minutes picking it up.

Now she's in there bitching over stupid things. I am so fucking sick of listening to her every fucking day. I wish I could find a muzzle for her. I can't wait to get out of this damn place.

I need you, I bleed you, I would give up breathing for you
Posted by: Scott at 2:13 AM | No Comments
I was messing around in Photoshop tonight and made these logos:

http://www.warpedbelief.com/img/warpdbelieflogo.jpg
http://www.warpedbelief.com/img/warpdbelieflogo2.jpg

I like how they turned out.

Took new pics of me.. if it looks like I'm laying on the floor, it's because I am. The webcam needs extreme light for the picture to come out right, so I got the idea to put the lamp on the floor, because kneeling next to it was not working well at all, held the webcam up in front of my face and snap the picture. Pathetic? Yes, but I was bored and it killed some time anyway.

Besides that, I don't think I did anything else today.

Wow
Posted by: Scott at 2:26 AM | Comments: 1
I just got done playing SOCOM. I started at 8, and it's almost 5 AM and I just finished. It was so fun, plus my ranking jumped up mad crazy. My back hurts so bad and I have a headache, plus I'm so damn hungry. My mom's sleeping in the living room again. I think she's trying to turn into me or something.. it's pretty sad, you know.

No Casey all day leads to a sad, sad Scott.